And I’m a 19 year-old guy that suffers from depression. Last year I tried to commit suicide by jumping out of my 9-story bedroom window. After falling over 100 feet, by miracle I survived and now I am trying to make a positive from such a horrible nightmare. My story has been featured in newspapers, magazines, and TV as well. I am able to go around talking to middle schools and high schools about my story and my mental disorder, depression. I'm writing this blog for the Minding Your Mind Foundation to show you that, although I live with depression every day, my life still functions like anyone else’s.
Life After the Fall
Living with Depression and Inspiring Others Along the Way
January 21, 2010
Every time I hang out with friends or family and the topic of my suicide attempt comes up, the people there usually go into detail of where they were at and how they felt when they got the news that day.
Obviously I’m going to say I’m okay with hearing about it because I think it’s therapeutic for that person talking about where they were and the emotions they felt knowing not only did I attempt suicide, but there was a good possibility that I wasn’t going to make it. I think it’s interesting that everyone remembers their exact thoughts but whenever people talk about that day, a part of me feels really guilty. I feel guilty that I put everyone through the tears, stress and heartache. I never intended for anyone to be hurt from my suicide attempt, at that moment I just wanted to get away from my depression as soon as possible. I never wanted to die because every time I thought about dying, I pictured my family at my funeral and that was the factor that always stopped me. But for some reason, that night, something more serious than just sadness was triggered in my brain, to the point that I still don’t remember going out the window. It wasn’t something that was planned or thought out. I guess that’s the one thing that keeps me from feeling super guilty, because I didn’t know that was going to happen that day just like everyone else. I do feel guilty however that people had to come to the hospital and see me in a comma, see me with blood all over me, and stare at a person they’ve known for years who looks lifeless. I feel guilty that people drove from all over just to see me when I wasn’t even conscience. It’s something that I never mind discussing it because it makes me realize how far I’ve come, not only physically but also mentally being able to talk about it openly with friends who I’ve never been able to talk about my mental health issues or my depression with before. I never thought that telling my story or telling people that I’m okay talking about it, would open up so many emotions and conversations that I never thought would happen.
The best conversations are usually with my family because they don’t always have to be serious. We can tell jokes about nurses or doctors we didn’t like, or having to deal with me not being able to talk and having to mouth words that my family could never understand. Obviously we never joke about the suicide attempt itself, but the uphill battle we all faced being in the hospital for five months and all the stories, good or bad, that go with it. I always feel that the best way to look at a negative situation is to not only talk about it but pick out the parts that you can look back on and laugh. I think that’s something that was incorporated into my presentation. I love telling my story but I also love being light hearted about a story that can be very sad depending on how you tell it. I am a firm believer that being able to laugh over little things that were difficult at the time, made me a more comfortable person with telling my story at all.
Obviously I’m going to say I’m okay with hearing about it because I think it’s therapeutic for that person talking about where they were and the emotions they felt knowing not only did I attempt suicide, but there was a good possibility that I wasn’t going to make it. I think it’s interesting that everyone remembers their exact thoughts but whenever people talk about that day, a part of me feels really guilty. I feel guilty that I put everyone through the tears, stress and heartache. I never intended for anyone to be hurt from my suicide attempt, at that moment I just wanted to get away from my depression as soon as possible. I never wanted to die because every time I thought about dying, I pictured my family at my funeral and that was the factor that always stopped me. But for some reason, that night, something more serious than just sadness was triggered in my brain, to the point that I still don’t remember going out the window. It wasn’t something that was planned or thought out. I guess that’s the one thing that keeps me from feeling super guilty, because I didn’t know that was going to happen that day just like everyone else. I do feel guilty however that people had to come to the hospital and see me in a comma, see me with blood all over me, and stare at a person they’ve known for years who looks lifeless. I feel guilty that people drove from all over just to see me when I wasn’t even conscience. It’s something that I never mind discussing it because it makes me realize how far I’ve come, not only physically but also mentally being able to talk about it openly with friends who I’ve never been able to talk about my mental health issues or my depression with before. I never thought that telling my story or telling people that I’m okay talking about it, would open up so many emotions and conversations that I never thought would happen.
The best conversations are usually with my family because they don’t always have to be serious. We can tell jokes about nurses or doctors we didn’t like, or having to deal with me not being able to talk and having to mouth words that my family could never understand. Obviously we never joke about the suicide attempt itself, but the uphill battle we all faced being in the hospital for five months and all the stories, good or bad, that go with it. I always feel that the best way to look at a negative situation is to not only talk about it but pick out the parts that you can look back on and laugh. I think that’s something that was incorporated into my presentation. I love telling my story but I also love being light hearted about a story that can be very sad depending on how you tell it. I am a firm believer that being able to laugh over little things that were difficult at the time, made me a more comfortable person with telling my story at all.
Posted at 04:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Today I found out about a screening of a documentary that I’m in called “No Kidding, Me Too!” It’s a documentary directed by Joe Pantoliano, or Joey Pants as some people call him, about erasing the stigma associated with mental health by showing different people with different mental disorders and how someone with a mental disorder is just like anyone else. I’m posting the link here for the website and a clip from the movie as well: (Website) www.nkm2.org (Clip from movie) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FsYUDM6UE0.
The way I met Joey and got to be in the documentary is always a pretty fun story to tell. My family and I were invited to a Minding Your Mind forum where Joey was the last guest speaker to go. Joey was sort of all over the place with his ideas on mental health but one thing he made perfectly clear was that he was on a mission to erase the stigma associated with mental illness because he suffers from A.D.H.D. and also clinical depression. My parents wanted to go home early because at this time I was still fairly weak and in a wheelchair so they didn’t want to keep me out too late. I insisted on staying however and at the end of Joey’s speech I went up to ask a question on how we can keep the discussion of mental health going with young adults and I briefly said my story in a couple of sentences. Joey asked how I was doing and my parents and I went home after that.
About a week later, my family gets an email from Joey’s agent asking if I would like to speak to congress on my story and speak on my thoughts on mental health for young adults. It was obviously a little shocking to not only be contacted by Joey but also being able to share my story to congress. To this day I don’t believe my story is a big deal but I believe telling it is. I wrote about a five-minute speech on my way up on the ride to Washington D.C. Up to this point my family and I hadn’t even met Joey face to face. When we got to D.C. we went out to a dinner that night with Joey and others who were speaking before congress as well. He was very gracious and appreciative of my family coming and me speaking but we looked at it as we were the lucky ones. Speaking to congress didn’t make me nervous but my parents were in such awe of the media there and all the coverage that they were ten times more nervous than I was. The speech went great and I got a standing ovation, which till this day gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. While we were talking to Joey all day, he brought up his idea of doing a documentary about myself and other people who suffer from mental disorders but this was still just in the thought process.
One day my dad was talking to Joey and my dad mentioned that I would be graduating on time with my high school class and Joey decided that filming me graduating would be the first shooting of the movie. He sent three cameramen from New York to King of Prussia within a days notice. That was the first day of filming and now, over a year later, it’s a finished product and will hopefully be airing on television within a year depending on how much money Nkm2 can raise. So I would encourage you to watch the trailer, look at the website, and donate to a really great cause.
The way I met Joey and got to be in the documentary is always a pretty fun story to tell. My family and I were invited to a Minding Your Mind forum where Joey was the last guest speaker to go. Joey was sort of all over the place with his ideas on mental health but one thing he made perfectly clear was that he was on a mission to erase the stigma associated with mental illness because he suffers from A.D.H.D. and also clinical depression. My parents wanted to go home early because at this time I was still fairly weak and in a wheelchair so they didn’t want to keep me out too late. I insisted on staying however and at the end of Joey’s speech I went up to ask a question on how we can keep the discussion of mental health going with young adults and I briefly said my story in a couple of sentences. Joey asked how I was doing and my parents and I went home after that.
About a week later, my family gets an email from Joey’s agent asking if I would like to speak to congress on my story and speak on my thoughts on mental health for young adults. It was obviously a little shocking to not only be contacted by Joey but also being able to share my story to congress. To this day I don’t believe my story is a big deal but I believe telling it is. I wrote about a five-minute speech on my way up on the ride to Washington D.C. Up to this point my family and I hadn’t even met Joey face to face. When we got to D.C. we went out to a dinner that night with Joey and others who were speaking before congress as well. He was very gracious and appreciative of my family coming and me speaking but we looked at it as we were the lucky ones. Speaking to congress didn’t make me nervous but my parents were in such awe of the media there and all the coverage that they were ten times more nervous than I was. The speech went great and I got a standing ovation, which till this day gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. While we were talking to Joey all day, he brought up his idea of doing a documentary about myself and other people who suffer from mental disorders but this was still just in the thought process.
One day my dad was talking to Joey and my dad mentioned that I would be graduating on time with my high school class and Joey decided that filming me graduating would be the first shooting of the movie. He sent three cameramen from New York to King of Prussia within a days notice. That was the first day of filming and now, over a year later, it’s a finished product and will hopefully be airing on television within a year depending on how much money Nkm2 can raise. So I would encourage you to watch the trailer, look at the website, and donate to a really great cause.
Posted at 04:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 20, 2010
This morning I couldn’t take my eyes off of the news because of the earthquake in Haiti. It’s devastating to know how a tragedy such as that can take so many lives in such a short period of time. I couldn’t even imagine being a 20 year old there and not knowing whether your parents are dead or alive, or not knowing whether your brothers or sisters made it. Or worse, knowing that your parents didn’t make it and not knowing who is going to protect and take care of you. It’s something I can’t imagine myself even going through. It puts into prospective just how precious the feelings are of knowing where your parents are, knowing where your next meal is coming from, knowing you can get around to where you need to survive. I know personally those are things I take for granted all the time and a tragedy like this can open your eyes but honestly my eyes have been open to people who live a lifestyle I can’t imagine from just traveling and meeting different people.
I spoke at several youth groups where those kids, who are between the ages of 12-18 are just one strike away from getting kicked out of school. I’ve spoken to kids who have no idea where their next meal is coming from or have no idea where their parents are. And the worse is hearing the ones who have parents but their parents don’t understand how to provide and protect for themselves let alone their child.
Obviously a tragedy like the earthquake opens people’s eyes to just how devastating something like that can be but I still tell people to this day that you don’t have to look at another country to see devastating. You don’t have to look at other countries just to see children starving or people who are barely able to survive.
When I was at physical therapy I couldn’t take my eyes off of the television because I saw these people with blood all over them and tears in their eyes but the reason I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen was because the same people I saw with blood all over them, bad wounds, and tears in their eyes, were the same ones that were still walking and moving forward. If they couldn’t walk or move, then they had their loved ones in their arms for protection. I was glad to see how quick President Obama was to not only assure Haiti that they were not alone in their uphill battle but made also made it a high priority. It was sad to see the images on television and I’m sure some people couldn’t even watch the news for that long but the seeing the reality of devastation always isn’t the easiest.
I spoke at several youth groups where those kids, who are between the ages of 12-18 are just one strike away from getting kicked out of school. I’ve spoken to kids who have no idea where their next meal is coming from or have no idea where their parents are. And the worse is hearing the ones who have parents but their parents don’t understand how to provide and protect for themselves let alone their child.
Obviously a tragedy like the earthquake opens people’s eyes to just how devastating something like that can be but I still tell people to this day that you don’t have to look at another country to see devastating. You don’t have to look at other countries just to see children starving or people who are barely able to survive.
When I was at physical therapy I couldn’t take my eyes off of the television because I saw these people with blood all over them and tears in their eyes but the reason I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen was because the same people I saw with blood all over them, bad wounds, and tears in their eyes, were the same ones that were still walking and moving forward. If they couldn’t walk or move, then they had their loved ones in their arms for protection. I was glad to see how quick President Obama was to not only assure Haiti that they were not alone in their uphill battle but made also made it a high priority. It was sad to see the images on television and I’m sure some people couldn’t even watch the news for that long but the seeing the reality of devastation always isn’t the easiest.
Posted at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 19, 2010
I’ve been feeling a little off today and it’s probably because I haven’t spoke at any schools in awhile, and I’m not in school myself. All of my other friends have part time jobs where they’re working pretty much every day. I envy them sometimes for a couple different reasons. First, I think it’s nice to know how much you’ll be working and know you’ll be getting a check on a certain day. When you’re a speaker, you may speak ten times in month and only five in the next month. Second, I envy that they’re working and doing something productive almost everyday. I know that my friends complain about it all the time but I’d love to be working all the time. I’m not sure what type of a job I could have with my physical condition but I should probably start thinking of one. I wouldn’t trade my job for anything though because I don’t see it as just a job but instead a calling of something I want to do in life. I think of whether I can make a career out of speaking and it’s a great thought to think about being able to speak to people all over the country but then I think about the life I envision for myself and I wonder if traveling for speaking engagements could interfere with that. I would love to be married by the time I’m 30 and I would imagine I’d be thinking about having a family around that time. I know that I’m only 20 but I do have goals for myself by the time I’m 30 and being married and thinking about a family is something I envision for myself. I think speaking opens up so many opportunities but I wish I could speak more often. I said before that I envy that my friends are doing something productive almost every day and that’s something I stress about all the time. I always want to be doing something productive with my life and that’s why I love going to physical therapy or even simple things like scheduling classes and getting my car back on the road. If there’s one thing that makes me feel better overall, it’s knowing that I had a productive day, that I’m actually doing something positive with my life. That’s one of the main reasons I can’t wait for school to start. I love going to school and knowing that I’m doing something positive with my life by getting my education. I’m sure that’s not what every student thinks when they’re on their way to class but every since my suicide attempt, I feel fortunate to be going to school and having the opportunities I have.
The point of me telling you all this is that I can get in down moods whenever I don’t have anything going on. It sucks to hear my friends talking about going back to school and working almost every day. I don’t feel like this often but it does happen if I feel like I’m not being productive with my life. It’s not a feeling of hopelessness but instead just a hunger for being successful and productive.
The point of me telling you all this is that I can get in down moods whenever I don’t have anything going on. It sucks to hear my friends talking about going back to school and working almost every day. I don’t feel like this often but it does happen if I feel like I’m not being productive with my life. It’s not a feeling of hopelessness but instead just a hunger for being successful and productive.
Posted at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I would say that my weekend was an incredible one. My weekend started off by getting my car back on the road for the first time since the day of my suicide attempt. It was something I’ve been saving up for and I was glad to see it finally paid off. It was definitely a proud and emotional feeling when I started driving the car again. That night I drove and picked up my two good friends, who were probably even more excited to see the car back on the road than I was. We went to our high school’s basketball game, which was sort of weird for me. I have mixed emotions when it comes to my high school since I missed my entire senior year. It’s great to go back and see certain teachers and even some of the students I keep in touch with but at the same time it’s kind of sad to know I missed an entire year of not being in that school with my classmates. The basketball game was pretty fun to watch though.
Saturday I got to hang out with my girlfriend for the first part of the night, which was great because we haven’t gotten a chance to hang out as much since she’s been sick. I would say that we have an extremely close relationship and if there’s one person I can talk about anything with, it’s her. I think people have friends who they talk to about certain subjects or issues in their lives with and they do that with certain people because they know the friend can relate. Now my girlfriend can’t hold a conversation about sports but everything else I can talk to her about. I think it’s great to have that one person you can talk to about anything and trust them as well.
After hanging out for a little, we went to my friend Kristen’s house for the Eagle’s football game where we met up with one of my good friends and also my friend Missy. I hadn’t seen them in awhile and since Missy and Kristen are both a part of Minding Your Mind, it’s great to catch up with them and see how they’re doing. All three of us have become really good friends even though I don’t get a chance to hang out and see them as much as before. We still have yet to figure out a name for us but when I think of when I’ll let you know.
After the game I went to one of my friend’s 20th birthday party with a couple of my friends, which was pretty fun. I’m definitely a social person but sometimes it can be awkward seeing friends from high school that you use to be close to. I guess that’s life though. Everyone always warns you that some of the friends that you’re close to in high school drift off in different directions, but that’s something I always knew.
Sunday was my day to chill where I just hung out with some friends and watched to football games. It was a really great weekend for me.
Saturday I got to hang out with my girlfriend for the first part of the night, which was great because we haven’t gotten a chance to hang out as much since she’s been sick. I would say that we have an extremely close relationship and if there’s one person I can talk about anything with, it’s her. I think people have friends who they talk to about certain subjects or issues in their lives with and they do that with certain people because they know the friend can relate. Now my girlfriend can’t hold a conversation about sports but everything else I can talk to her about. I think it’s great to have that one person you can talk to about anything and trust them as well.
After hanging out for a little, we went to my friend Kristen’s house for the Eagle’s football game where we met up with one of my good friends and also my friend Missy. I hadn’t seen them in awhile and since Missy and Kristen are both a part of Minding Your Mind, it’s great to catch up with them and see how they’re doing. All three of us have become really good friends even though I don’t get a chance to hang out and see them as much as before. We still have yet to figure out a name for us but when I think of when I’ll let you know.
After the game I went to one of my friend’s 20th birthday party with a couple of my friends, which was pretty fun. I’m definitely a social person but sometimes it can be awkward seeing friends from high school that you use to be close to. I guess that’s life though. Everyone always warns you that some of the friends that you’re close to in high school drift off in different directions, but that’s something I always knew.
Sunday was my day to chill where I just hung out with some friends and watched to football games. It was a really great weekend for me.
Posted at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 15, 2010
Today was by far the most emotionally happy I’ve been in a really long time. I haven’t drove my car since the day of my suicide attempt but my car finally got out of the shop and was able to drive it today.
I say that it was emotional because the last time my dad was in my car was the day he found the alcohol in my trunk, confronted me about it, and when he did that something went off in my brain that told me I shouldn’t be here anymore. So it wasn’t just an emotional day for me but it was for my dad as well.
I texted my dad to tell him I was ready to got to physical therapy so he could pick me up but he told me the car was in the parking lot. I figured maybe he got a ride from someone to work and left his car for me but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my red Saturn sitting in the parking lot looking exactly the same as two years ago (thankfully it doesn’t run like it did two years ago). It was perfect timing to start driving my car again because it’s a lower car and physically I don’t think I could get in and our of it as well as I can now, if at all. It was definitely a weird feeling to start driving my car again, but I got adjusted to it pretty easily. I probably only made it about 100 yards before I cried but I had to shed a tear to know that my suicide attempt didn’t hold me back from getting my life back. One of the things I told myself in the hospital was to get through the long days in the hospital so that I could get my life back, and driving my car for the first time since September 28, 2007 is something that’s very meaningful to me. My dad told me he shed a tear when he drove it too because the last time he saw me driving my car was that day.
After being excited about driving my car I went to physical therapy, which I was actually on time for because I was driving. No offense to my dad, but he’s not very good at getting me to therapy on time. I love having the responsibility and freedom of actually getting myself where I need to. It’s another piece of independence that I missed. Therapy went well and again going to physical therapy is always a great feeling especially on Fridays because it’s really laid back and it’s nice to know I’m ending the week on a positive note. It was a very exciting day and my friends were probably more excited than me to see the car.
I say that it was emotional because the last time my dad was in my car was the day he found the alcohol in my trunk, confronted me about it, and when he did that something went off in my brain that told me I shouldn’t be here anymore. So it wasn’t just an emotional day for me but it was for my dad as well.
I texted my dad to tell him I was ready to got to physical therapy so he could pick me up but he told me the car was in the parking lot. I figured maybe he got a ride from someone to work and left his car for me but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my red Saturn sitting in the parking lot looking exactly the same as two years ago (thankfully it doesn’t run like it did two years ago). It was perfect timing to start driving my car again because it’s a lower car and physically I don’t think I could get in and our of it as well as I can now, if at all. It was definitely a weird feeling to start driving my car again, but I got adjusted to it pretty easily. I probably only made it about 100 yards before I cried but I had to shed a tear to know that my suicide attempt didn’t hold me back from getting my life back. One of the things I told myself in the hospital was to get through the long days in the hospital so that I could get my life back, and driving my car for the first time since September 28, 2007 is something that’s very meaningful to me. My dad told me he shed a tear when he drove it too because the last time he saw me driving my car was that day.
After being excited about driving my car I went to physical therapy, which I was actually on time for because I was driving. No offense to my dad, but he’s not very good at getting me to therapy on time. I love having the responsibility and freedom of actually getting myself where I need to. It’s another piece of independence that I missed. Therapy went well and again going to physical therapy is always a great feeling especially on Fridays because it’s really laid back and it’s nice to know I’m ending the week on a positive note. It was a very exciting day and my friends were probably more excited than me to see the car.
Posted at 01:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Today I got to do something that is always very rewarding. I got to visit a church that was praying for me when my suicide attempt happened.
I started off the day by going to physical therapy, which went well as usual. I can see myself making a lot of progress in therapy as far as my flexibility is concerned, which is the main problem as far as me walking independently without the cane. I always feel a lot better about myself whenever I have physical therapy because I feel like I’m actually doing something productive when I go.
Last night I went to my old high school’s basketball game with two of my good friends and I got a text from my dad telling me that we’re going to the church of a couple that is very close to our family since the wife works at my mom’s school with her. They invited us to their prayer group night because they had been praying for me when my suicide attempt happened. As far as religion goes, I wouldn’t call myself a religious person but I call myself a very spiritual and faithful person instead. I believe in what I do but never would I tell someone they’re wrong for their own beliefs or faith. I always try and meet with the people that prayed for me when I was in the hospital because a lot of the people who were praying for me had never met me before, let alone had a face to put with the name. I use to think that it wasn’t a big deal to meet people who had been praying for me until I met a man who was delivering a pizza to me one night. This was a while ago so I was still in a wheelchair, probably about 9 months after the accident so I was able to get out of the bed and into the wheelchair on my own. I went to open the door and this guy tells me he was hoping I would open the door. He told me he was delivering the night of my accident and how he became religious after finding out I survived. He told me he didn’t think such a miracle could happen and how talking to me was going to be the best part of his day. That really touched me and made me want to give back to the people I never got a chance to meet but were praying for me to survive.
Everyone at the church was very grateful that my family and I came to meet everyone. I got a chance to give them an update with how I’m doing physically and that I am going around the country to speak on mental health and how it’s going. It was a very rewarding night and I’m glad I got the opportunity to visit their church.
I started off the day by going to physical therapy, which went well as usual. I can see myself making a lot of progress in therapy as far as my flexibility is concerned, which is the main problem as far as me walking independently without the cane. I always feel a lot better about myself whenever I have physical therapy because I feel like I’m actually doing something productive when I go.
Last night I went to my old high school’s basketball game with two of my good friends and I got a text from my dad telling me that we’re going to the church of a couple that is very close to our family since the wife works at my mom’s school with her. They invited us to their prayer group night because they had been praying for me when my suicide attempt happened. As far as religion goes, I wouldn’t call myself a religious person but I call myself a very spiritual and faithful person instead. I believe in what I do but never would I tell someone they’re wrong for their own beliefs or faith. I always try and meet with the people that prayed for me when I was in the hospital because a lot of the people who were praying for me had never met me before, let alone had a face to put with the name. I use to think that it wasn’t a big deal to meet people who had been praying for me until I met a man who was delivering a pizza to me one night. This was a while ago so I was still in a wheelchair, probably about 9 months after the accident so I was able to get out of the bed and into the wheelchair on my own. I went to open the door and this guy tells me he was hoping I would open the door. He told me he was delivering the night of my accident and how he became religious after finding out I survived. He told me he didn’t think such a miracle could happen and how talking to me was going to be the best part of his day. That really touched me and made me want to give back to the people I never got a chance to meet but were praying for me to survive.
Everyone at the church was very grateful that my family and I came to meet everyone. I got a chance to give them an update with how I’m doing physically and that I am going around the country to speak on mental health and how it’s going. It was a very rewarding night and I’m glad I got the opportunity to visit their church.
Posted at 01:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
I have to admit that it’s a little awkward writing 2010 as the date, but it’s always like that for me whenever it’s the beginning of a new year. I’ve been having trouble emotionally lately with the conflict between spending time with my girlfriend and spending time with friends. My girlfriend has to wake up very early for work (usually 4 am) for work, so she doesn’t get a chance to come hang out with my friends and me as much as she’d like to. So I usually hang out with her till about 9 pm and then go see my friends but lately I’ve been feeling pressure from one of my best friends about not spending as much time with them and not answering my phone as much since I turn my phone off when I’m with my girlfriend. With my depression and just my overall personality, I feel guilty when people say I’m not spending as much time with them. I become sad over it and blame myself but for once I stepped back and looked at the situation. I’m the only one out of all my friends in a relationship and I do respect my girlfriend to the point when I do turn my phone off and spend as much time with her as possible and obviously they may not understand that but in no way have a shut them out of my life or looked at them any less as friends. I just had to get that off my chest because I’ve been feeling guilty about it and I figure writing about it would help.
Yesterday I was over at my girlfriend’s grandparent’s house for their New Years dinner. I always feel great knowing that I’m invited to these big dinners and her grandparents are so gracious and welcoming. I decided it was only appropriate for me to buy them a couple gifts for inviting me over, so I decided to get some candles and some chocolate truffles since I over heard them talking about it one night. One thing about my personality that’s very helpful is that I’m diverse when it comes to conversations. So I can carry a conversation talking about sports or I can have a conversation about anything else that’s going on, which again is helpful when it comes to family events because I always want hopefully build a connection and relationship with everyone in my girlfriend’s family. The dinner was wonderful and the day overall was a very nice one. I really do love having a break from not only school but traveling as well. Speaking and telling my story never gets old but the travel can get annoying and old very quickly. Being around the people that are closest to you and not having to leave is always a great feeling.
Yesterday I was over at my girlfriend’s grandparent’s house for their New Years dinner. I always feel great knowing that I’m invited to these big dinners and her grandparents are so gracious and welcoming. I decided it was only appropriate for me to buy them a couple gifts for inviting me over, so I decided to get some candles and some chocolate truffles since I over heard them talking about it one night. One thing about my personality that’s very helpful is that I’m diverse when it comes to conversations. So I can carry a conversation talking about sports or I can have a conversation about anything else that’s going on, which again is helpful when it comes to family events because I always want hopefully build a connection and relationship with everyone in my girlfriend’s family. The dinner was wonderful and the day overall was a very nice one. I really do love having a break from not only school but traveling as well. Speaking and telling my story never gets old but the travel can get annoying and old very quickly. Being around the people that are closest to you and not having to leave is always a great feeling.
Posted at 01:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
When I think about the new year, I think about the new changes that are coming with it. The speakers bureau is now merging with Active Minds and I’ll be speaking on behalf of them as well as Minding Your Mind. I was nervous about the news at first because, like most people, it’s difficult for me to think of change so quickly. I’ve been speaking for the speakers bureau for over a year and when I found out we were merging, I was worried that I would have to reaffirm myself as a speaker and have to start from zero again but after I spoke at the Active Minds Conference in November, and got to meet with the founder Alison Malmon, I felt a lot more comfortable and even excited about the merger. I felt like this was a great opportunity to branch out to college campuses and be a part of an organization that has the same goals and views as MYM and the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign. Active Minds is intent on breaking the stigma that comes along with mental health and that’s exactly the message that I try to get across when I speak so I’m glad that I speak for two organizations that are geared toward the same goal.
Last night I got to spend time with by 3 best friends for New Years Eve, which was a lot of fun because I think you should always bring in the New Years with the people that are closest to you. I got to spend the beginning of the evening with my girlfriend which was also really nice because my mood overall is better whenever I’m with her. I like to surround myself with healthy coping mechanisms to make me happy and although I don’t depend on them, I think that spending time with my three best friends and girlfriend is something that always puts me in a good mood.
Pretty much everyone likes to make a New Years Resolution that’s positive and is a good goal but honestly I can’t think of a really interesting and motivating one for this year. My goal for this year is to just have a productive year. I would love to be walking a little better this year, whether I have to use a cane or not. I would love to fix my car back up since I haven’t drove it since the day of my accident, which is just over two years. I think that’d be a really great feeling to have the freedom of driving my car again. But above everything, I would love to have a safe traveling speaking season and make sure I’m healthy mentally for this year. So I wouldn’t say I have one main goal for this year but a lot of mini ones that I feel are reasonable. I’m more than excited for the year of 2010.
Last night I got to spend time with by 3 best friends for New Years Eve, which was a lot of fun because I think you should always bring in the New Years with the people that are closest to you. I got to spend the beginning of the evening with my girlfriend which was also really nice because my mood overall is better whenever I’m with her. I like to surround myself with healthy coping mechanisms to make me happy and although I don’t depend on them, I think that spending time with my three best friends and girlfriend is something that always puts me in a good mood.
Pretty much everyone likes to make a New Years Resolution that’s positive and is a good goal but honestly I can’t think of a really interesting and motivating one for this year. My goal for this year is to just have a productive year. I would love to be walking a little better this year, whether I have to use a cane or not. I would love to fix my car back up since I haven’t drove it since the day of my accident, which is just over two years. I think that’d be a really great feeling to have the freedom of driving my car again. But above everything, I would love to have a safe traveling speaking season and make sure I’m healthy mentally for this year. So I wouldn’t say I have one main goal for this year but a lot of mini ones that I feel are reasonable. I’m more than excited for the year of 2010.
Posted at 01:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 14, 2010
Today my family and I went to Pittsburgh to visit family. One of the down sides of moving out to King of Prussia was leaving our family behind in Pittsburgh. We knew that ultimately the move was be beneficial for us as a family but the one person who was effected the most was my mom. My sister only had a couple close friends back in Pittsburgh so she wasn’t that distraught when we had to make the move. She was at Penn State during that time anyways so it wasn’t that big of a deal. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s making friends very quickly so I didn’t mind the move at all and was actually pretty excited about it. My mom however had a very tough transition when it came to moving. Her two best friends still live in Pittsburgh and we only have a few cousins that live in our area but they don’t have the same connection as she had with the family members in Pittsburgh which includes her brothers and sisters. My dad and I don’t enjoy the drive from King of Prussia to Pittsburgh since it’s a 5 hour trip and we’ve done it so many times that it can get redundant, but we know it really helps out my mom emotionally. She’s always in a better mood whenever we’re back in Pittsburgh because she’s around so many of the people that she’s close to.
I didn’t want to make the trip with dad but I figured that it would make my mom happier if I did come and plus I didn’t want my dad having to make that 5 hour trip all by himself. We got in around 6 pm, which was perfect because we were all meeting at a restaurant to eat and see family. We got in just in time for that so I got to spend time with my aunt, uncles, and my grandfather. After the accident my relationship with my family feels a little different in the way that we’re more open in talking about certain issues, especially when it comes to mental health. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with my becoming a little older and hopefully more matured as well. It was nice to talk about the local things going on in Pittsburgh because no one in King of Prussia can really relate to what I’d like to talk about. I miss being able to talk about the Steelers and Penguins with people who actually root for those teams. I have to admit that I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to make the trip but I’m glad I did because seeing family and updating them on my health status and also the accomplishments I’ve been able to make is very important to me and always makes me feel great.
I didn’t want to make the trip with dad but I figured that it would make my mom happier if I did come and plus I didn’t want my dad having to make that 5 hour trip all by himself. We got in around 6 pm, which was perfect because we were all meeting at a restaurant to eat and see family. We got in just in time for that so I got to spend time with my aunt, uncles, and my grandfather. After the accident my relationship with my family feels a little different in the way that we’re more open in talking about certain issues, especially when it comes to mental health. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with my becoming a little older and hopefully more matured as well. It was nice to talk about the local things going on in Pittsburgh because no one in King of Prussia can really relate to what I’d like to talk about. I miss being able to talk about the Steelers and Penguins with people who actually root for those teams. I have to admit that I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to make the trip but I’m glad I did because seeing family and updating them on my health status and also the accomplishments I’ve been able to make is very important to me and always makes me feel great.
Posted at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
